the many facets of life

2011-03-29T17:10:00.001+08:00

2011-03-29T17:10:00.000+08:00

2010-01-22T02:28:00.005+08:00

I know I haven't blogged for the longest time ever. I thought blogging is already a PASSE? Correct me if I'm wrong please. You mean people still actually blog and surf? I thought the world now revolves around twitter, facebook and the iphone now.

Whatever the case is, I know I've never been an avid blogger (and will never be one), but just hit by some random thoughts that I decided to just blog about since I am errs connected to the internet and finishing up some last min work (at an unearthly hour of 2.30am), so much for lovely bosses who overload you with ten million tasks to do.

Ok, no more digressing, let's get going.

You know I do understand the whole hype in the newspapers/in online news websites with big headlines shouting at you about whatever that is going on about the tragedy that has just struck Haiti.

Sometimes I don't get it about how people get so concerned about what is happening elsewhere but yet do nothing about whatever that is happening in their own land. It upsets me to know that many people only get themselves 'involved' when something as big scale as what has happened in Haiti happens. Other than that, the poor old man selling tissue outside the mrt station, schooling kids working to earn their own pocket money, the physically disabled man struggling in leading a normal lives like others, the intellectually disabled struggling in receiving acceptance from the society just doesn't seems to bother us as much.

The people in Haiti don't need you to feel sad for them, that's simply pity and they don't need our pity.

I bet with you, the news about Haiti will start to lessen in a few more days to a week's time. The amount of hype created about news is all about media sensationalisation. The news mention it, the people talk about it. If the news stop talking about it, the people will so naturally stop talking about it as well.

Come that 7 days later when there are no longer any headlines about Haiti, I question whether people will think about the people in Haiti and pray for them. I question whether anybody will still remember about Haiti and will want to keep themselves updated with the progress of relief work in Haiti and to pray for the people who have been affected by the earthquake.

If our giving to the poor and needy only happens when bad things like natural disasters, etc strike a particular place, I feel that that's as good as giving out of pity. Let's not wait for such things to happen before we want to do something, start by doing small little things in the society that God has already placed you in at the moment.

Nobody gives a shit to old clothes/food collection for the poor and needy singaporeans, but people get activated after they've heard about Haiti. I'll be the first to admit, i'm one of the idiotic singaporeans who doesn't give a shit to this kind of thing. The Haiti plight did not made me convicted to want to join some relief work force and fly over to Haiti to help, I know i do not have such resources. This time round, on top of giving what I can for the Haiti relief efforts, I want to start locally as well. I want to start being bothered with what is happening around me and not turn a blind eye towards it.

Pardon me if i sound incoherent, ridiculous or whatever. it's an ungodly hour of 3 hours and 10 minutes into the whee hours of the morning.

2009-09-23T03:45:00.002+08:00

What are your convictions?
How do convictions become convictions?
When do convictions become rooted as values?
Do convictions = values?

Share with me, if you happen to still chance upon this.

2009-09-23T03:45:00.000+08:00

What are your convictions?

Share with me, if you happen to still chance upon this.

2009-08-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

dear friend of mine, i so want to tell you that God is the answer to all your problems in life. i so want to let you know that only the love of God can possibly fill that emptiness in you heart. your life is screwed, but God can unscrew that screwed life of yours. i will be praying for your mum next week. my heart aches whenever i think about you. i am praying for you, your mum and your entire family. i love you friend, but i know someone who loves you more than i do.

about tough decisions.

2009-07-28T03:41:00.000+08:00

Making tough decisions in life makes one tougher.

2009-07-16T03:07:00.002+08:00

i am contemplating on something that i am pretty sure is just an infatuation after shopping at the nearby supermarket last night. i feel like eating all the pocky in the world (esp the rare ones), and collect all the different flavours. so next time when i go overseas, i'll collect all kinds of pocky in different flavours back! i just spent 5 dollars buying those rare pocky at the supermarket just now.

but this i have decided, which is that, when i have my own house in the future, there are a few things i'll make sure i'll never run out of supplies in my own fridge next time.

1) yoghurt

2) milk

4) museli

5) lettuce, cherry tomatoes, bacon bits, tuna and eggs (perfect salad combination!)

i secretly always believed i was born in the right part of the world. i never fancied oily bee hoon for breakfast. milk with museli still beats everything else heads down for the best breakfast on earth. followed by scones and bagels. they rock.

first, before i can even start collecting pocky boxes or buy unlimited supplies of museli, milk, yoghurt, salad, etc. i need to find a job.

and if you are reading this, perhaps you might want to pray for me as well! job hunting's tough i must say. i really really need God's guidance in this, i need step by step guidance. ideally, i would definitely want to get a job that is still closely related to what i love, which is the arts! so i'm really committing all these into God's hands and see what he wants to do with it.

yays! i'll get a job soon by the grace of God, amen! :)

2009-07-01T01:29:00.003+08:00

Leadership is lonely.

Yeahs, when you think about it in a self-pity manner.

I've got a God who's by my side 24/7, a God who understands my every thought pattern and emotional ups and downs, my struggles, my cognitive dissonances etc.

Now, who says that leadership is lonely?

2009-06-24T02:59:00.002+08:00

What better way can there be to spend a good tuesday with a bunch of people whom you totally love, walking around chinatown and me going broke because I bought things like buttons and ribbons to make accessories for ourselves, us feeling completely satifisfied just by eating food like durian pancake and curry fishballs. Then a good close to 2 hours spent at the favourite christian bookstore in town, where we went crazy and literally BROKE from buying books that write about our one and only favourite man. Not to forget, dinner chalked up to $7.50 when it only served just duck meat, pig intestines and pathetic kway teow. Ended the night off at mos burger with a cup of thirst quenching ice milk tea before we all parted our different ways home.

My legs are aching from all the walking. I am tired. But above all, I was not just satisfied with my new buys, but the time spent with a bunch of loved ones warmed my heart more than anything else.

Pardon the bad sentence structure and grammar. I can't be bothered to edit. hahaha.

This is really bad english. Incoherent sentence structures!

2009-06-22T03:09:00.003+08:00

I realised over the months, I have chosen an alternative avenue for my thoughts and reflections over this blog. All my struggles, thoughts, revelations from God, reflections about life or myself - I painstakingly pen each and every single one of them into the pages of my small little journal book.

No wonder this blog is dead.

To be honest, the prevalence of facebook and the convenience to be able to upload chunks and chunks of photos into album meant that the act of uploading photos onto a blog is now totally meaningless.

I had meant to slightly revive this blog with some photos when I realised that people could actually just visit my facebook account and they could easily see ALL my photos.

I will type in my some excerpts from my journal soon, once I overcome the inertia to want to blog about something substantial.

2009-06-12T10:05:00.001+08:00

Slept with the sentence "There is nothing like the local church when the local church is working right" resounding in my head and woke up with the same sentence, still clearly resounding in my head.

2009-06-12T02:48:00.001+08:00

i will be back to chill out with the world after 15 june, i promise!

2009-06-07T01:47:00.005+08:00

WHY MARRIAGE IS CRUMBLING

'In modern, urban industrialised cities, the economic rationale for marriage has weakened considerably. Even the social reasons for marriage - compassion and parenthood - have competing alternatives of singlehood, marriage without kids and the singular pursuit of one's career. This explains in part our rising singlehood and infertility.'

The newspaper forgot to add that another factor that contributes to the crumbling of marriage as a sacred entity that supposedly forms the basic building block of society is the rising divorce rates. The inability of both men and women in committing to their marriage vows and staying faithful to one another to their very last days, the failure of communicating with one another in a marriage and how media the has cheapened the value of this whole supposed sacred union between a man and a woman to that of just a piece of marriage certificate and a grand wedding affair - have caused so many people out there to lose their trust and security in this whole concept about marriage.

2009-06-03T04:22:00.000+08:00

take me. break me. mould me. make me.

2009-06-01T05:01:00.003+08:00

I have obviously lost all interest in blogging or even blog surfing.

Right now, I just wanna play my computer games which I have totally lost touch with. And also, meet up with my lovely people whom I was deprived of meeting for the past few weeks.

when some things just don't matter anymore

2009-05-23T01:27:00.002+08:00

It just suddenly dawned upon me that, some things that I had used to cling onto so dearly and tightly just suddenly don't matter as much anymore.

I looked back and laughed at my stupid self that had stubbornly insisted on clinging onto those stuff. Then I realised that those stuff that I had deemed as really important, were just merely just labels invented probably by my very own imagination.

Maybe, such a feeling is also part and parcel of growing up.

And I realised that I have been so lazy at blogging nowadays. Just can't seem to bring myself to overcome the inertia to blog about my Kuching trip, or anything else. Even though the only kind of experience that I can likened with my experience at Kuching is that when Moses went up to Mount Sinai and at that very mountain, he met God and his face turned radiant. If only you could just see the beam of radiance on my sun-burnt cheeks.

Maybe, some time later when I suddenly find the urge to overcome the inertia of laziness, I'll get down to some good blogging business.

Till then, sorry to disappoint you all my blog readers.

2009-05-17T01:30:00.002+08:00

My idea of Utopia? No necessity for money. Pardon me, I don't study economics. Hence I probably do not understand fully the whole idea about the regulation of money in the economy and blah blah blah. But all I know is that troubles and problems that come with money irks me to the very core of my soul.

the one that kills them all.

2009-05-13T00:54:00.003+08:00

The attitude of the i-think-i-have-it-all and i-think-i-know-it-all will always lead to killing all. Being a leader does not brings you anywhere near having-it-all nor knowing-it-all. Being a leader simply means surrendering-it-all.

Get rid of this know-it-all and have-it-all mindset.

whirlwind is the best description.

2009-05-11T07:28:00.005+08:00

I'm stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts, the instabilities and turbulence within unable to find its peace. It's like the whirlwind, I'm stuck in this column of air. And I'm trying hard to get out, but sadly I find myself fighting against the pressures from the outside that actually traps me inside.

I thought I was emo-ing. Oh gosh, I so totally abhor that feeling. But then I thought it was just another time-of-the-month phenomenon experienced by all girls on planet earth. But now, I think that I just have too many unsettled and unarticulated thoughts that I need to force myself to face up to. Then I need to sit under the coconut tree with Jesus my best friend and spend some really good time with him. Because, only he knows this whirlwind well, and he knows exactly how to lead this poor entrapped soul out of it.

HILARIOUS

2009-05-10T02:37:00.001+08:00

THIS IS SO FUNNY! I so love the website where I get all these funny photos!

post exams mania

2009-05-09T06:25:00.005+08:00

The life after an undergraduate has completed the final examinations of her life was marked with no sense of joy and jubilation but instead with an overwhelming sense of lostness and uncertainty about her ominous future.

But still, life has still been great! Went to the beach to chill out with shirls on Monday. Met up with Ginny and Fen Ling at Ikea for hotdog buns on Tuesday. Went with Cat for her Lasalle interview before that (and yays she got in!!!). Then came wednesday the most exciting day of the week cos I went to the Singapore Art Museum with friends who are simply just such a bundle of joy in my life. Thursday came, I went for JCEA5b's caregroup, and God reminded me about something that was certainly important for me to hear. Friday, I woke up with a slight fever. Woke up when the sun was shining up high and then went back to sleep again to see light slowly retreating and the darkness of the night slowly fading in. Left the house and went for post production party.

Gosh, this is so not me to be stating out explicitly the events that I have done for this week.

And so after a night of drinking (thou by right, I ought not to) with the friends, I came home to continue my battle with the may ess drama script! I am therefore proud to announce to you guys that after a grueling many hours of battle with the may ess drama script, I am finally done with the editing and I can finally sleep in peace (for a few hours only) tonight. And after tonight is done, it'll be rehearsals, rehearsals and more rehearsals in the next few weeks to come.

All I can say is, God bless me, God bless you and God bless everybody who is involved in this drama. Way to go everyone!

Next week, I'm so going to catch (up with) all my friends, lock them up in cages and throw them into the river to feed the crocodiles! Can't wait to meet so many people..

DATE ME DATE ME PLEASE!!!!

2009-05-08T00:44:00.001+08:00

After 3 years of studying in NUS, i think that is exactly what i need now. HAHA!

Loving this photo.

LIBERATION.

2009-05-04T04:51:00.003+08:00

In about 6 more hours, I'll be forever liberated from the chains of exams.
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That is provided, I pass my modules.
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=/

lessons learnt

2009-05-04T00:25:00.003+08:00

The right thing at the wrong time, when executed without wisdom will become a WRONG thing.

Mankind, regardless of their gender, social status, educational credentials, family upbringing are still ugly and sinful creatures.

Period.

2009-05-01T01:46:00.002+08:00

Everyone wants to have their say in thorny and controversial issues. Bring on an issue and everyone starts giving their opinions on that issue. No one listens to each other nor considers each other's stand. At the end of the entire episode, what do you get? A large pool of opinions and comments. That's all.

2009-04-29T20:22:00.002+08:00

The history of Europe is driving me up the wall. 13 lectures on the history of Europe, all the way from Enlightenment to Restoration to German and Italian Unification to World War One and then to World War Two and lastly to Cold War. The A levels people take 1 and a half years to study only up to Unification and they expect me (who has never taken A levels History ever before) to complete studying ALL THAT I HAVE STATED ABOVE in 3 MONTHS.

NUS NUS. You won't be happy until you see me dead right. I knew it.

Thanks for making me feel so optimistic about failing this module. -_-

Part I

2009-04-29T03:04:00.004+08:00

There was a toymaker who makes a living by selling the toys he makes. You see, each individual toy that he makes is unique and different from the other individual. He knows the number of screws that he used for each toy to put all the parts together, he knows how he painstakingly designed every toy to be what the way he wants them to be. He knows every single toy inside out and outside in, and with very tender loving care he creates each toy. To him, each and every single toy was good.

But you see, there was this one toy who didn't really quite like how was being created. She didn't like the positions of her screws, didn't like how the toymaker designed her to be. She looked at other toys with envy, always wishing that she could look like those toys and do what the other toys could do.

So one day, she decides to change how she was being created altogether. She wanted to do what the other toys could do. So she starts to unscrew the screws on herself and change the positioning of her screws. She added in new parts to make herself look different and attempt to perform functions of what she previously could not. She wanted to make it work and she pretty quite liked how she is now.

Some time later, she starts to realise that her new parts and her old parts are starting to fall apart. Her screws start to come off loose as well. She knew things were not doing right. But she wasn't ready to give in to that. So she did what she loved doing best, she tried to fix herself right again. Change some parts, unscrew and screw some screws back. And there you go, she could pretty much continue doing what she was doing again.

Some time later again, the same thing happened. She was beginning to disintegrate all over again. This time round, she tried to fix herself up again but her attempts were futile. She looked into the mirror and to her horror, she was stunned to see how different she now looked compared to the past. However, she could no longer remembered how she looked like when she was first created.

Literally screwed up she really is now. Then she remembered her maker. Her maker knows her outside in and inside out, he should know how to go about making her look like how was again. She knew she probably had to go back to her creator, the toymaker.

Overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and shame, she drags her feet to the door of her maker's workshop. She stops at the door of the toymaker. She hesitates to knock on that door.

She presses the doorbell and waits, with millions of thoughts flooding through her mind.

"Will he open the door if he knows it's me? What will he think of me when he sees me in this state? How will he react when he sees me in this state? Will he turn me away? Will he welcome me back? Will he even want to fix me up now that I literally screwed myself up?"

KNOWLEDGE THIRST

2009-04-28T02:55:00.003+08:00

Have been deprived from news happening around the world recently because I have been too absorbed by Real Estate Law and Europe's History. After my exams, I am so going to go on a quench my knowledge thirst. Learning takes place even more for me when I don't have to go through exams!

Like what I always believed, you don't have to be very educated to know a lot. You just need to want to know a lot to know a lot. After my exams, I shall slowly read up on everything under the sun that I've been dying to find out!

This is really only going to get more fun! Learning does not stop at graduation! It has merely begun for me!

cin(T)a the movie

2009-04-28T02:35:00.003+08:00

I first discovered a link to a film trailer posted by one of my ts lecturers on her Facebook profile. I watched the trailer and deemed that it was worth a watch. Click here for the trailer link!

Then I went to their Facebook group link and read their synopsis in an attempt to find out more. Now, that got me really determined to catch it! I have no idea when it will come to Singapore, or if it ever will. I really wanna catch it! By hook or by crook!

Synopsis: Cina, an 18 year-old college freshmen, was ready to conquer the world with a strong, yet naïve, faith since it had never been tested by failure. Annisa, is a 24 year-old college senior whose education was held back because of her career in the movie industry. Her fame and beauty left her so lonely that she drew a sad face on her finger as her companion. Until one day, another finger came and she was no longer lonely. God, is the most unpredictable character. Everybody tries to describe Him. Everybody thought they knew Him. Every art tried to figure Him. But nothing is really like Him...or Her. God loved Cina and Annisa, but Cina and Annisa could not love each other because they called God by different names.

So interesting right! I find myself getting more and more drawn towards films nowadays and away from the mainstream hollywood flicks. It's not just about its brilliant screenplay and its magnificent meaning plot, the directors of such films never fail to produce wonderful and really beautiful cinematography.

Gosh, I need to stop contributing to Singapore's Arts economy. Singapore International Film Fest is now on, and there are some shows I really want to watch as well. I missed the reflux of a Wong Kar Wai film in Cathay's Picturehouse in March! And plus there are SO MANY theatre performances coming up that I'll be dying to watch as well. I'm so dead. I need to either: a) suddenly discover a gold mine and get rich immediately or b) marry a rich husband or c) ask God to drop money from the sky or d) collect branches from Bukit Timah Nature Reserve to sell.

All the above will never happen and will never work.

Quit dreaming and get back to studying Jasmine!

NIGHTMARES

2009-04-26T17:46:00.002+08:00

I've been having the same nightmares for 3 consecutive nights. It was the same nightmare repeated very realistically in my sleep about my production accounts. It was so scary when I woke up on the first night of my horrific nightmare, thinking that the nightmare really did happen. My mind was already trying to work out how I was going to explain to my producer the blunder that I've made, when I realised that it was all but a dream.

My nightmares continued for another 2 more nights.

And so I thought that I ought to deserve a nightmare-free night yesterday. However, I was so wrong. The peak of 'nightmary' sleep culminated at its peak last night when I had two nightmares that were so disgustingly weird.

In one of my nightmares last night, I dreamed that I became a lesbian and married a woman! I was so worried at my 'wedding' because I seriously wondered what will my friends think about me if they realised that I was going to marry a woman. Worse off, the marriage with the lesbian was just a marriage of convenience. (must be the fault of the lady of soul). Don't ask me why, I have no idea myself either! It's not that I am against lesbians. But you see and I believe all my friends will agree with me that I am drop dead straight in my sexual orientation. Never in my life have I ever thought of becoming a lesbian or thought that girls were err attractive? That nightmare blew me off.

I shall not elaborate on my second nightmare last night.

All in all, my nights have been really exciting. Probably the late night studying sessions are driving the neurones in my brain crazy. I wonder what I will dream of for the next few nights..

2009-04-25T02:42:00.002+08:00

I love it when my values and beliefs are being challenged. I especially love listening to less conventional views from other people. Sometimes they can be so intellectually enlightening.

After my exams, I'm going to rethink about certain things that I've been discussing with some people. It's really going to be an exciting discussion. I'm kinda looking forward to being enlightened and challenged.

exams.

2009-04-24T04:42:00.004+08:00

MATRIC NO	NAME	MODULE CODE	CRSE CODE	ROOM ID	SEAT NO	EXAM DATE	TIME
U060XXXX	LOH HUEY VOON	EU1101E	ARS3	MPSH2-A	67	30/04/2009	9:00 AM
U060XXXX	LOH HUEY VOON	MNO1001	ARS3	MPSH2-A	310	04/05/2009	9:00 AM
U060XXXX	LOH HUEY VOON	SSD1203	ARS3	SDE E- STUDIO	54	27/04/2009	1:00 PM

The last exams that I am going to take as a student (provided I do not fail any one of them). =/

I have 2 9am papers. I'm so dead. Totally hate 9am classes, hate 9am exams even more!

the need to break free.

2009-04-23T14:26:00.004+08:00

NUS has kidnapped me. They will release my captivity after the 4th of May. Till then, please prepare a lump sum of ransom to redeem me please.

I need to travel overseas, to somewhere that will not have slightest resemblance with this suffocating city that I live in, NOT KL or BKK please. Somewhere serene, and close to the nature, where I can just sit there and be amazed by the Creator of all beautiful things on Earth.

If I don't get out of Lion City soon, I'll explode or literally get devoured by this Lion City.

But before I can get out of this place, I need money. My current financial status: BANKRUPT. In a few more weeks, I'm going to contribute to the unemployment rate of Singapore! HOORAY!~

Someone pack me in your luggage? I'll pay for the extra baggage charges. -_-

So before you guys not hear anything from me till the 4th of May (not as if I was a regular blogger to begin with), let me share with you one of my new found favourite singer! She is so cool and her songs are so cute!

Watch this too!

2009-04-18T13:28:00.002+08:00

I seriously love how our govt is so efficient in whatever that they do.

2009-04-18T03:11:00.002+08:00

"The people shall 'trust' the ruling party, but have no strong views on their own".

“When you rationalize, you do just that. You make rational lies.”

2009-04-16T10:48:00.001+08:00

2009-04-14T02:02:00.002+08:00

Being a sanguine right from the moment I came out from my mother's womb, I have pretty much enjoyed being around people most of the time. However, nowadays I find myself increasingly slipping into my own world whenever I am with people. I no longer seek to be the talk of the town or be the nosey parker who wants to know everything, I honestly am beginning to prefer to just observe how people respond and talk, and listen to their views about things.

Maybe this is something that comes with age.

2009-04-05T03:04:00.002+08:00

I have a feeling that all thumbdrives, cashcards and pens hate me, because I never fail to lose them once I gain possession of them.

I've never owned a cashcard successfully for more than a month. My longest record of possessing one is probably just 2 weeks. I thought of trying my luck again this semester, still no luck. I lost the nth cashcard again after 4 days.

The same goes for thumbdrives, my experience with my friend's thumbdrives are that I will always leave them at the computer after I've used it. Thank God someone always reminds me in time or returns it to me.

So I really think that I am officially CURSED.

The thumbdrives, cashcards and pens have all ganged up against me and put a curse on me.

the idea of being in love.

2009-04-05T02:01:00.006+08:00

I find that nowadays, the whole idea about BGR has totally lost its essence and meaning. People nowadays fall in love with the idea of falling in love instead of falling in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Such an idea of love is so cheap and childish.

Sentences like "I'll be happy as long as you are happy, must make sure that you are happy ok?", "I want you to be happy more than anything else", makes me want to frown almost immediately. Will you feel happy if I am happy to take drugs? That's utter rubbish.

Don't just love my sister because you want to be in love with someone. Grow up in your idea of love please. Love is about commitment, not just about feeling happy. If you want to feel happy, go give some money to that poor blind guy playing guitar by the roadside, that probably can make you happy momentarily. You can feel happy by eating chocolate too. Go somewhere to find your happiness please. You don't need to fall in love to be happy.

If love is all about making someone happy, that is so not love.

2009-04-04T01:56:00.004+08:00

i just saw this quote that makes me wanna laugh,

"True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don't believe that this condition is permanent."

where are all my true friends!!??

just kidding la. =P

2009-04-03T02:31:00.004+08:00

We got ourselves into TODAY newspaper!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you God! :)

and thanks zixin for an sms that came in pretty timely
"When we arrive at the end of our own strength, it is not defeat, but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources."

2009-04-02T01:00:00.005+08:00

God has been good, is still good, and will always be good.

God loves me for who I am - good, no good or rotten. He still loves me the same.

AMEN.

I don't deserve such goodness really.

2009-03-31T01:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Daddy God,

I promise you from now onwards that I'll be a good girl. So could you please tuck me into some other corner of the earth, away from this concrete jungle Singapore. I don't mind living on a island that is surrounded by a beautiful sand beach and sea. Will you teleport me there if I promise you that I'll really really behave myself? I promise I'll be less crazy, really!

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

I'm so going to build a hut by the beach next time when I'm old, then I'll get to hear the soothing sound of the crashing of the waves against the shores every now and then. That's just a stupid thought that I have. -_-

The Lady of Soul and Her Ultimate 'S' Machine

2009-03-27T00:23:00.002+08:00

THURS 9 APR | 8 PM - selling fast!
FRI 10 APR | 3PM - tix still available!
FRI 10 APR | 8PM - SOLD OUT!
SAT 11 APR | 3PM - tix still available!
SAT 11 APR | 8PM - SOLD OUT!

if you don't get your tickets NOW, you might just totally miss the show! book your tickets NOWWWW!!!!!

random ramblings.

2009-03-24T00:39:00.004+08:00

have i mentioned that i've been having really weird dreams of late. and the scary thing of it all is that these dreams really felt SO tangible even after i woke up.

for eg, i dreamt that someone whom i thought will never call me called me. it felt so real and ridiculous that i couldn't differentiate whether the person's call was just a figment of my fantasies or reality that i literally checked my hp's receieved calls and realised that i was actually dreaming.

and and and.

i can't wait for 12april to end. that'll be the end of my 3 months long nightmare. just 17 more days. jiayou jasmine.

and and and.

i'm so totally broke now. i think i wanna go take a part time job to sell matchsticks by the streets like the mai huo chai de xiao nu hai. i think my fats should be able to last me long enough, i won't freeze to death there. but looking at the state of my bank accounts now, i think i might just starve to death instead. -.-

undeserved.

2009-03-21T00:01:00.003+08:00

somehow, i can't helped feeling super loved by GOd and by my friends, despite how cui a person i am. it's amazing how many friends are supporting me so much by coming for my play, when i am not even one of the actors at all.

i just feel so so loved by all of them.

initially, i was still toying with the thought that it certainly didn't matter even if no one came for my play production, cos i am not acting in it after all. that is probably bullshit and probably the insecure me just trying to neutralize or prepare myself in case really none of my friends came for my play. but after knowing how many people are so willing to part with 20/22 bucks to come for the play, i really thought that i don't ever deserve all these.

so to all my dear friends,

i know for some of you it might probably be your first and last time you will ever pay to watch a play, for some of you it might be your first ever experience watching a theatrical production and many of you are coming not because you are an avid theatre-goer but coming to support me. whatever the case it might be, i just want to say i deeply deeply appreciate you for coming.

it's in times like this, i feel so cui about almost everything in my life, from ministry to school to managing this production to family to friends etc, that i really come to appreciate how much people around me actually care and love me. i have so much support from everyone around me, believing in me that i can make it, jiayou-ing me by my side, what did i ever do to deserve all these.

i really really don't deserve all these at all.

so thank you thank you thank for loving me God and frieends. thank you so much. i am really really grateful.

MY SOUL BABY!

2009-03-16T20:39:00.005+08:00

After more than 72 hours of battling with this horrible thing called HTML, I am proud to present to you guys my baby aka the fruits of my labour!

I literally struggled like mad finding the best template, and then changing the html of the template to fit my content in.

Thank God it's finally over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's does not in any way looks professional, isn't the most fabulous blog which will wow you. But this coming from a computer idiot, I feel comforted. I never knew that computer language is soo TOUGH! No wonder I'm an arts student and not a computing student. haha.

Please visit: theladyofsoul.blogspot.com

If you are a good friend of mine (eg: my cg members, my sheep, my cls, my supper buddies, my hang out buddies, etc) by default, i should probably have booked a ticket for you! hahahahaha. JUST KIDDING LA.

Please support my play! (not me)
*for big children and adults only*

You guys did it.

2009-03-16T17:49:00.007+08:00

MILESTONE NO 1

Last Saturday for the "Your Curtain Call" ESS, we saw a total of 38 visitors from our unit and a total of crazy 96 for our unit's service attendance!

While you guys worked hard on sowing on and inviting your friends for the ESS, our dance team (led by chialing) also slogged their lungs out by rehearsing over and over again for their big show on Saturday! Chias, you did a great great job. And my dearest unit, you guys did a brilliant job in bringing your friends as well.

Even though we did not have an amazing number of converts, we still want to rejoice and give thanks for 1 guy from SP, 1 guy from NS and Sean from DHS who crossed the line of salvation last Saturday!

My dearest pioneers, do not be discouraged or dismayed by the low number of contacts who turned up! Let's not give up and keep holding onto to 1 Cor 15:58 and Gal 6:9. I know that God sees your efforts. Let's keep holding on and perservering until we see the converts coming in. WE have to KEEP BELIEVING GOD!

And my dear CLS, you guys have been amazing in leading your people. All this would not have been possible without you guys leading your team faithfully.

I once saw this quote that goes, "If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it.".

True enough, you guys deserve all the credit.

WAY TO GO GUYS! THE HARVEST IS STILL NOT HERE YET! IT IS COMING!

2009-03-12T08:21:00.005+08:00

I find the need to blog some substantial and insightful thoughts/truths about GOd, myself or about life. But I find no inspiration and no melancholic moments to do such things either.

Please bear with my random trash talk, and maybe when I'm done with my whole production madness, I promise I'll sit down and do some really good and worthy true blue reflections.

So from now till then, hear me talk about anything and everything under the sun! From about shopping, to my random nonsense, to school, to about my friends etc.

Let me tell you how much I am simply enjoying myself on Facebook leaving lame and nonsensical posts on people's walls!

Let me tell you how super broke and poor I am now.

Let me tell you how much I sooooooooo totally miss going for caregroups and miss shepherding my meh mehs. :(

Actually, the i only wanted to blog the previous sentence, but I didn't want to blog a one sentence post. Hence all the trash talk before the entire most impt sentence.

2009-03-11T23:35:00.002+08:00

i'm a shoes lover. i can't help it.
i especially love heels, i have more than 5 pairs of them, even though i hardly wear them.

HAHA.

next time when i start to earn my money and have my own house, i want to have a shoe closet to put all my beautiful shoes in there so that i can collect even more of them.

2009-03-09T17:33:00.000+08:00

ah, my big spiritual family. i can't wait to see how GOd is going to work this saturday! join me in fasting and praying! let's add new faces into our unit!!!!!!!

JIAYOU JIAYOU!!

2009-03-06T00:20:00.003+08:00

If there is just (many) one prayer(s) that I can make, please God,

make me more organized.
make me less tired.
make me think faster.
make me think deeper.
make me embarrass myself less in group settings.
make me more creative.
make me more reflective.
make me more intellectual.
make me more choleric.

most importantly,

make me more prayerful.
make me more desperate for more of you.
make me more evangelistic.
make me more dependent on you.
make me more hungry for your word.
make me more compassionate.
make me more loving.
make me less judgmental.
make me more holy.

ahhhhhhhhhh-men.

i'll sleep with a smile on my face tonight.

2009-03-03T00:16:00.003+08:00

yixuan:
take care ok?! don't worry, i'm sure u'll do me proud in ur production! jia you!!

that was enough to make my night. :)

chua xuan xuan, i love you so much and i miss you!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MY DEAR FRIEND!!! :)
you are very very loved by my SHANG DI! :)

The sad life story of Loh Huey Voon.

2009-02-25T00:40:00.004+08:00

I think maybe I should change the title of my blog to "the many JOKES of my life" instead of "the many facets of life".

Below depicts my sad life story. hahaha.

Today, I had shepherding with my sheep, yinling. It was drizzling, so we shared an umbrella. We settled down to eat lunch at a coffeeshop near my house.I ordered Fish Porridge. The porridge tasted mediocre, thank God that the fish tasted fresh. I finished eating my porridge and took out my water bottle to have a sip of water. I then told my sheep that I could go to the stadium together with her to book the badminton courts for Friday since I still had time before Chia's cg. Hence we decided to leave the place and I put my water bottle back into my bag.

While walking to the bustop, I realised that there was water dripping on my right thigh constantly. I thought my umbrella was leaking. To my horror, I realised that the water was dripping from my bag instead. I stopped at the nearby Macs, and opened my bag to find ALL MY BELONGINGS swimming in a puddle of water collected in my bag.

I groaned at my own stupidity immediately. I had successfully poured 600ml of water into my bag because I didn't capped my water bottle properly.

There laid my brand new Nokia E71 that has been barely used for less than 2 days, my family camera and my pink ipod from my unit.

I was reminded of the curse of all new handphones that belonged to me. I have never ever used a newly bought phone for more than 10 months. This time round, my phone couldn't even last for 10 days in my hand.

How can my life not be considered a joke you tell me? I was so amazed at my own stupidity that I didn't knew if I should cry or laugh then. hahahaha.

So if you are reading this, please pray for my phone and the camera and the ipod. The ipod wasn't badly wet by the water. My camera and my phone was literally fished out from that pool of water in my bag.

And a few days later, I hope I can end my story with, and Jasmine lived happily ever after with her new Nokia E71 and her family camera and her hot pink ipod.

God, save my phone and my camera and my ipod please! Otherwise, I'll be so totally DEAD. hahaha.

Forgot to mention that my production notebook was in my bag as well. Hence, all the water-soluble ink got totally smudged in my book. Now, my notebook's a goner.

Life of a TS3103 student

2009-02-23T19:12:00.003+08:00

Disgustingly, Play Production seems to be the only module that I'm taking this semester. So much for the 8MCs seriously. The amount of thinking, research and work that we put into this module can jolly well worth the workload of 20MCs.

People out there do whatever we do as a FULL TIME job. In NUS, they expect us to do play prod and handle our other subjects as the same time.

Jiayou dear friends! We're half way there~!

2009-02-23T02:28:00.003+08:00

Some of my sheep are having it tough too as well, esp to chias, cat and kim. this is for you gals.

For cat
God i pray that you give her double, triple, quadruple portion of anointing and wisdom. I pray that you'll continue to affirm your calling for her. God I know that you see the heart of this girl who is not equipped with a lot of talents but am willing to try and do anything for you. So God I just pray that you'll really use her greatly and expand her leadership capacity, expand her power to influence, help her to make the right decisions at the right time. God I know that your presence will be the sole comfort to her, so I'm assured that she's in good and safe hands! God when she has simply no ideas wheere to lead the group to or what she can do with the group, i pray that you'll show her the directions to where she can go! GOd i pray that you'll show her in greater depth the extent of your love for her so that she can in turn be a vessel of your love to her people as well. God I know that you'll certainly be there to cheer her up, and cheer her on whenever she's down or sad. I know that she won't give up cos she loves you and she values this privilege that she is serving you now.

For chias
God i pray her chias that you'll give her loads of strength, not just physical, but also mental, emotional and spiritual strength to fight the battle towards the final showdown of our march ess. God you expand her leadership capacity as well in leading the dance team to putting up a real good show which does not just seek to entertain the audience but most importantly to bring people closer to God and to come to know him as their personal Lord and saviour as well. God I pray that you help her to build strong relationships in her cg as well. You'll use her to really influence and teach her people to become strong, committed and biblical men and women! God i pray that you'll take good care of her physical body as well, so that she'll not fall sick from now onto after march ess! God when things start to overwhelm her, help her to know that you're the one who will always be in control. God when she is stressed, i pray that your presence will offer her the comfort that she is looking for.

For kim
God i pray that you'll take good care of my sheep, that even as school work start to pile up and the group gets even bigger, God i pray that you'll expand her leadership and work capacity as well to contain the greater responsibilities that she is taking up. God i pray that you'll assure her that your plans are the best for her and that your plans are always to prosper her and never to harm her. When she feels unsure about certain things in her life, God i pray that you'll open up her eyes to see things that she has never seen before. God i pray that your omniscient presence will never fail to offer her the comfor that she needs whenever she feels down or tired.

jiayou all my 3 sheep! you have my full support! :)

when escaping is just not the way to go..

2009-02-23T02:17:00.002+08:00

I'm a true blue escapist whenever I am forced with awkward life situations or problems in life.
I have such a natural instinct to avoid everything that I am needed to do whenever things start to get a little more overwhelming.

But I have this to say to myself now.

Jasmine, only turtles and cowards run away and hide in their shells.

Firstly, jasmine dearest, you have no shell, you're a human being, so you can't hide in any shell at all. Secondly, come just face them all and stop running away, because escaping never solves anything, in fact, the time lapse when you run away from things will only lead to even more things piling up in your things-to-do list.

only turtles and cowards run away. You are no coward jasmine, so face all of life's challenges bravely!

I was suddenly reminded of what I taught my cls last sat about leading with dilligence.
because leaders need to be self-motivated. Escaping is so totally uncool and not the way to go.. I need to be even more self-motivated!

If you are reading this, please drop me a prayer! I've been feeling so tired nowadays that no amount of sleep ever seems to suffice. (probably due to the nightmares that I've been having about my production)

God i need you like siao ah!

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS from now on.

miss, missing, missed.

2009-02-22T13:00:00.004+08:00

i meddled around with a new program that kim introduced me. quite cool eh! free polaroids!

HAHA.

ruth ruth chong from the land of tpy.

lee han han from the always-doing-retarded-poses-land.

miss lim ling na.

my yong tau foo from ntu.

mau mau from another planet.

miss chua xuan xuan from da tou land.

dear friends, i so miss spending time with you all!
i haven caught up with you gals for MONTHS! :(
when can we spend some good time together??

long bus rides home..

2009-02-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

I've always preferred bus rides as compared to mrt rides simply because I get a seat on buses but I hardly ever get a seat on mrts.

I'm always glad that there will be an empty seat beside the window on the oh-so-familiar bus 23 that I take home whenever I return home from school or town (which are 2 places that I visit the most!).

These long bus rides home are always such a good time when I can just be alone (not lonely), sometimes to listen to my ipod or simply to listen to my own thoughts and settle my own emotions.

And on tonight's bus ride home, this thought just keep recurring to me

I'm just really so glad that I have God in my life. I'm just really so glad that even if the world were to turn their back against me, I know that God will still stand by me. And it's really so so true that only God can satisfy my life.

Shopping might satisfy me temporally - this is what people call retail therapy (Trust me, it does work sometimes. HAHA)
Having loads of money will NEVER satisfy me - cos I will always want more, more and just more.
Having a family, many friends, or a boyfriend will only meet my relational needs, NOT my emotional needs.
My achievements in my life can only grant me momentary satisfaction - cos people won't remember you for your achievements and you will you ever feel satisfied just by talking about your achievements.

I've lived 22 years of my life, seeking for love in the wrong places, tried very hard to achieve in every area of my life, gone through ups and downs with my friends and family members, felt insecure about myself my entire life, have made uncountable mistakes (some which I totally regret) throughout the 22 years of my life, only to be able to conclude over and over again that only God can satisfy my life.

Who says that the grass is always greener on the other side? I say that, the grass is never greener on the other side. Stay on this side of your grass and be contented to be able to have grass to chew every single day.

I'm leaving on a jetplane.. (i wished)

2009-02-12T17:17:00.004+08:00

How I wish I can just get myself into a jetplane now and whisk myself off to some ulu island and come back only in june!

I've been a slave to gmail recently. I can spend hours (yes, HOURS!) just reading new emails, replying emails, and composing new emails. Every single email must be crafted with care, formality and with specific details! Finally I'm applying what I've learnt in communications in NUS.

*wish I could run off to another island or drown myself down together with titanic!*

Thank God there is something to look forward this weekends!
What better way can there be to spend Valentine's day than to be able to catch "The curious case of benjamin buttons" with my sheep!

YAYS! :)

life is good after all. haha.
*happy!*

it's not about you.

2009-02-08T02:13:00.003+08:00

Are the prayers of you and I like..

"Dear God, please use me to do great things for you!"

or

"Dear God, please use me to do great things for you!"

There is a vast difference between the two prayers above although they are worded in the exact same manner. The difference lies in where the person places his/her emphasis on when making the prayer.

Are we more eager for God to use us or are we more eager to do things for God?

I must confess that sometimes I do find myself making the first prayer. I'm a sucker for for a sense of achievement in my life. I usually do not delight in doing things that I feel will not yield results or fruits. Even when I embark on challenges, it's because I like to challenge myself and feel an even greater sense of achievement when I really overcome the challenge, and I often make sure that I will grit my teeth to last through those challenges. I like to feel being a part of something successful and accomplished.

Who doesn't likes to feel successful or accomplished in your life?

Hence, I so often need this reminder from God that
It's really NOT about me, but about HIM.

on self-control (iii)

2009-02-06T13:36:00.002+08:00

What the Bible says about self-control,

Proverbs 25:28
"Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control."

Titus 2:11-12
"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,"

on self-control (ii)

2009-02-06T11:54:00.007+08:00

As for the guys, you have self-control over your sexual urges and desires as well. Not every single pretty and hot girl out there needs to deserve your second glance.

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." -Job 31:1.

So you can look at girls with purity. You have the ability to exercise self-control to stop watching and reading pornography and trashy magazines. So what if guys are born with higher sex drive or are more visually driven, at the end of the day, you still have control over all of your 5 senses and your entire body, including your thoughts.

There is no such thing as, "I was born like that, that's why I'm like that" or "I just can't change".

That is CRAP.
period.

"In self-control, it is often the SELF which plays a bigger role than the control."

I just chanced upon a really good quote,
"Man cannot live without self-control."
It's so true!

on self-control (i)

2009-02-06T01:18:00.004+08:00

It's 1am, I'm supposed to be really tired and totally burnt out from the workload of this week. It's been a mad week, rushing deadlines every other day, attending meetings after meetings after even more meetings.

Somehow when I am tired, I tend to have more funny thoughts going through my head.

Then somehow, I just put a stop to it. I did it, very easily. In fact, I did it so swiftly, I didn't even needed time to think about why, how or what I should stop. When I know that what I am thinking or feeling is not what God wants me to feel, I stop it. As simple as that.

Such is the power and beauty behind self-control.

Believe it or not, WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO EXERCISE SELF-CONTROL over EVERY SINGLE AREA OF OUR LIVES. Be it our thoughts, actions, and even our emotions.

To the girls out there especially, don't tell me things like, "But I can't help it, I keep feeling this way", or "I can't control the negative thoughts in my head", "I really feel like doing this". All these are bullshit. You have a say over your thoughts in your life, you have a control over how you wanna feel, you can control what you should or should not do.

Sometimes, we just keep giving our excuses thinking that we can't do, we can't help it, we can't control it. Come on, snap out of it. Because if you don't, you can go ahead and continue to feel this way and continue to ruin the rest of your life.

Get a grip, figuratively and literally.

When God created us, he created human beings to have free will. This means that we have a CHOICE to do what we want to do or don't want to do, and it also means that we have a CHOICE to do what we CAN do or CANNOT do.

You can either
a) put a stop to what you know is wrong
b) continue to indulge in your self-pity thinking that you can't help it, can't control yourself or you just have to feel this way.

What's your choice?
I chose option a.

2009-02-05T03:27:00.003+08:00

Man wanted by Interpol for making one too many V-signs in photographs

If you see this man, a Mr Jerry Ee, please inform Interpol, who is assisting the Singapore gahmen in looking for him.

This man is wanted for crimes against humanity, for perpetuating the peace-sign/v-sign photo taking pose, and taking a photo like this at his workplace.

Ok, his ex-workplace.

Oh, and he is also wanted in connection with the Cortina Watch S$7.9 million heist.

I don't know what is a worse outcome for that crime: being wanted by Interpol or getting a dorky photo like this posted online as your Wanted shot.

Featured Comment from reader UnwantedPhoto: "I think Interpol purposely put that photo to make him so paiseh that he give himself up to ask them change the photo."

credits to mrbrown.com

goodness, i'm having loads of fun (at 3am) pouring over our political blogs and read how they talk about our singapore gah-men.

the last para of the post above was simply hilarious, i almost burst out laughing in the middle of the night. HAHAHAHAHA.

my blog is becoming even more trashy nowadays.
i was just telling raphael that it's not that i do not have any good thoughts/reflections to share with you guys, i hardly have the time to sit down and type them all out.
till then, i shall provide you with sensational news regarding our gah-men instead!
mrbrown's hilarious seriously.
oh i so love controversial topics.
hahahahahaha.

i like to post good videos.

2009-02-02T01:45:00.001+08:00

globalization.

Life of a TS3103 student

2009-02-02T00:59:00.004+08:00

This is how I now spent my time when I use my computer.

Now I finally can understand why do working adults HATE checking their emails. The first thing that I do once I on my com is to check my email. The last thing that I do before I off my com is to check whether there are new emails. Gmail is like my best friend nowadays, 3/4 of my time spent on the com is spent on reading incoming emails, composing new emails and replying emails. There is always a window opened for GMAIL in my mozilla browser. The emails NEVER seem to stop coming in. Every new email that comes in meant work. Every email has to be crafted with care because it is no longer the informal kinds of emails that you send to your friends. No singlish, make sure sentences are complete and tone used should be more formal.

Such is my life ever since TS3103 entered into my life.

Thank God for gmail's wonderful technology that keeps ALL my emails in nice and neat THREADS.

2009-01-26T01:16:00.001+08:00

if you have realised, my blog isn't a thought-stimulative, nor contemplative blog. it has become a place for my random ramblings like this..

chinese new year can't get any better than this - with two assignments due on the first day of CNY and a survey due NOW.

WOOHOOS!

on a happier note, by the grace of God, i got the role that i wanted for the play production! all glory to God! :)

Singapore Censorship

2009-01-22T01:17:00.003+08:00

Part ONE

Part TWO

Part THREE

this was royston tan's response after MDA decided to administer 27 cuts to his gangster film, 15. saw this in lecture today. i totally love it. if you do not have the time, just watch the second and last video.

ENJOY!

HARD WORK.

2009-01-22T00:29:00.006+08:00

Whatever that I lack in talents and gifting, I'll be willing to make up for it with my diligence. I may not be the most eloquent, charismatic, directional and inspiring kind of leader, but I promise I'll be the most hardworking person in the team.

Even if I can't be on the field to gather contacts with you guys, I promise you I'll slog it out in my prayers for you guys and the schools instead.

I'm going to make sure I'll be the most hardworking person. I think that I haven't given my 100% hard work yet, I believe that I can give even more than what I'm doing now. I want to grow more in this area of my life.

DILIGENCE. What a scary word. It makes me want to procrastinate after hearing it. hahaha.

I am DEAD DETERMINED to finish up those uncompleted schools, and NOTHING is going to stop us now!

Let's do it together!

The voice of God.

2009-01-21T03:05:00.002+08:00

Do the words of your mum nagging at you to bathe, to pack your room, keep your table neat, do this and that and etc etc, sound familiar to you?

Initially when she starts nagging at you, it may either force you to spring into action immediately and obey her demands or it simply annoys and irritates you to the core.

Then when the nagging persists on on the same topic for a few days and you ignore all of them subsequently, you realised that the nagging literally starts to become music to your ears - meaning, the nagging is no longer has any effect on you.

The same goes for the voice of God in our life (except the fact that God doesn't nags at us!).

If you do not instantly do something (eg: change something in your life, repent etc) when you first hear God's voice regarding a particular area of your life, the voice of God will sooner or later end up like the nags of your mum.

Music to your ears.

And when this happens, you will no longer be able to differentiate the voice of God distinctively in your life. The voice of God will not have a single effect in your life at all.

So when God drops a whisper into your heart, please I beg you, DO NOT IGNORE IT.

2009-01-20T00:53:00.002+08:00

Thank you God that I managed to get all my FIRST choice tutorial slots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEES!!!

God is so good to me!! That means it's a 3 day week for my last semester! What a brilliant way to go about ending it! It's a 3 day week at least before play production gets really busy la, and when this happens, I'll probably be in school every single weekday. But still, I thank God that I get to enjoy a LOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG weekend for now!!

YAYS!

THANK YOU GOD!

Busy Martha.

2009-01-19T01:49:00.003+08:00

A thoughtful reminder from God as I was preparing to start out my crazily packed and hectic week ahead.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

- Luke 10: 38-42

So before I start to journey across the width of the Singapore island, and start to busy myself with meeting people, attending project meetings, starting on my readings and finishing assignments, that reminder to not get caught with my busy life was very much needed. And I think that this is something which we so often overlook once we launch into our rocket speed paced lifestyle.

Slow down, or rather, stop everything that you're doing now, and just sit at the throne of Jesus to hear what he has to say to you.

Don't be as busy as Martha.

clean hands and a pure heart

2009-01-18T02:48:00.002+08:00

After tonight's CLM, I am all the more convicted that I must start this year, or rather, I must live the rest of my life, simply wanting to walk right with God forever.

NOTHING is as precious as my walk with God. Not my title as a leader, not the amount of wealth and riches that I can possess, not even the friendships in my life.

Dear God,

May my life be so pleasing to you that you'll choose to pour out your blessings for your people through me. I may be a tainted vessel, but I really want to have clean hands and a pure heart when it comes to serving you.

You deserve nothing less than my best.

2009-01-17T03:57:00.002+08:00

Me and my theatre friends concluded that almost everyone in theatre or communications have much to complaint about whatever that is happening in Singapore, esp when it concerns about what the authorities are trying to do. What we feel is definitely everything lesser than adoration or being impressed by the government.

This youtube video rocks la!

2009-01-13T17:15:00.003+08:00

As I was preparing for the pioneers meeting later, God reminded me once again the importance of whatever that I am doing.

"There is nothing like the local church when the local church is working right."

Stir this up within me, create a storm in me to your church even more and be one of those to make it work right.

Back to school.

2009-01-13T15:10:00.006+08:00

My December vacations never felt like what they were supposed to be. ZOOM! Holidays are over now! And my daily one-and-a-half long pilgrimages to the holy land of NUS begin all over again..

After not checking the school's ivle portal for the downloading of my lecture notes, updates about the module's lesson plans, etc for about a month now, I need to re-cultivate the habit of checking it again regularly again.

If all goes well for my tutorial balloting, I'll be having a three-day week this semester! Off on Mondays and Fridays, 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for a wonderful LOOOOOOOOONG weekend!

This will probably be the last time I can actually have a blog title named, "Back to School".

The Private Cost of Visible Success

2009-01-10T01:50:00.003+08:00

If you are quietly faithful for years, God may expand your ministry. One day, many will want a ministry like you have. But not everyone is willing to do what you did to have what you have.

You and those closest to you will know:

The sacrifices you’ve made.
The pain you’ve endured.
The hard decisions you’ve faced.
The loneliness you’ve felt.
The fear you’ve overcome.
The weight you carry.

Every private painful memory you carry will draw you closer to the One who suffered and died for you. Your “public success” won’t mean nearly as much to you as your private devotion to Christ.

Credit: http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2008/12/11/successful-ministry-4/

"Your “public success” won’t mean nearly as much to you as your private devotion to Christ."
I can't agree any more with this sentence. Who cares about the size of my unit, the size of my sheep pen, have a portfolio of leading this and that for the church before? At the end of the day, I've come to really realised that it is my relationship with God that really matters. I want to experience more of his love and grace in my life, I want to grow deeper and closer to him, I want to know more about the plans that he has in my life. Don't ever trade your private devotion to Christ for that public success. It's really not worth it at all.

God's favour upon me! :D

2009-01-08T15:22:00.004+08:00

I came to school today morning to meet ginny at 8.30 to 'rehearse' our parts. We were probably the least prepared among all the theatre students cos we did not even memorise our lines! You should have imagine the fear trembling in our hearts when Dr Loon told us that we were not allowed to bring in our scripts for our auditions! The first line that came into my heart was this, "Jasmine, you are so screwed for life".

Then we saw all our fellow theatre friends starting to separate into their various pairing to rehearse their auditions - without their scripts. This meant that they have already memorized them!!!!!!

Thank God my surname is LOH which begins with a L, and given that the auditions were ran in alphatetical order, that was already God's grace upon me that I actually had some time to start memorizing my lines before my actual auditions. I told God this, "God I have really bad memory, you must really help me to memorise my lines in the shortest time possible."

And so the auditions went really smoothly, I could hear the director laughing when I acted out the mama-san role in the play.

All I can say is that, God's favour must have really been on me. I had initially put prodution executive as my first choice for the preferred role that I would like to play in this production. Just before I went into the auditions room, my teacher from NUS came and told me that I should actually go for the production manager role instead of settling down for the assistant of the manager. That was pretty shocking to me, considering that I have NEVER ever been taught by him ever before, where on earth did he summon that belief from that I can actually live up to that role? I was already shocked previously when he remembered my name and asked me if I was Dennis' sister. That conversation with my teacher outside the auditions room was definitely a huge morale booster for me.

My brother must have been such a brilliant student to him that he remembers him even till now. He remembers even his chinese name. Mind you, my brother graduated two years ago. I called my brother after to tell him that I was riding on the wonderful memories that he has left behind for our theatre lecturers.

It really must be God's favour shining upon my life for something like this to happen. I am bathing in the favour of God, partially bathing in the favour of my brother. hahahaha.

Thank you God! I'll accept anything that you give me! I feel so loved by you already.

True enough, who cares about the portfolio of yours if God's favour is shining on you?

Thank you Lord. All glory to you if I really get that production manager role! :D

Who cares about that portfolio of yours?

2009-01-08T03:35:00.006+08:00

I can get everything else wrong in 2009, but one thing i will make sure that i must always get it right, that is - my relationship with God.

I'm going to have my play auditions tomorrow and I was discussing about it with my brother when I realised how unimpressive I would fare in my auditions tomorrow in comparison with my friends out there who have chalked up for themselves an impressive portfolio with their outside school commitments.

I have never joined a single external (non-churchy) play production before (though I would certainly very much want to), but I've done some drama productions for the church. I would definitely try to 'boast' about what I've done in church like how all my other friends would probably do the same for all the external productions they have participated in. The reality of life is that people in the secular world probably care less about what you done in church, they care more about what you've done in the corporate world.

Many of my friends and my family members have questioned me about my church commitments before, whether it was worth it to commit so much to the church and see how everyone else around me go about beefing up their portfolios with their outside commitments.

Honestly, I do struggle whenever I see my friends with their impressive and beefed up portfolios of their achievements. What about my achievements? I feel so underachieved sometimes. Besides whatever that I do in church, I probably have nothing much to offer to my future employees. Disclaimer here: I do not in any case belittle what I do in church.

But one thing I hold onto very dearly is this - when I take care of God's church, He will take care of me as well. Yes, I probably do not have a portfolio that looks as marvellous as that of my friend's.

BUT, what I do in church do not merely affect people's lives, what I do here affects their eternity for good. I chalk up for myself instead a spiritual portfolio of lives transformations. I can never bring my worldly portfolio on earth up to God and expect God to be impressed by whatever that I've done on earth. At the end of the day, all these chasing after achievements, titles and statuses and all the material glory and possessions will come to cease after we die. And when we go up to heaven and God asks us, "What have you done for me on earth?". Don't expect God to be impressed by your wonderful portfolio of ya achievements on earth such as "Partcipated in this and that and everything else" or "Led this and that and everything else".

Don't spend your life chasing after all the As in A levels or your university exams, joining ten thousand ccas at one go, going for this and that program after program after program or that promotion after promotion after promotion in climbing up the corporate ladder and neglect what really matters and affects your eternity.

When you go up to heaven, God is not going to ask you to show him your portfolio. God is going to ask you, "How have you brought your friends to come and know me?", "How have you been a salt and light to your family?", "How have you steward the gifts and talents that I've given you?" and etc.

Get it right people, what matters most is your relationship with God. Walk right with him. Grow closer to Him. That's the most important thing.

These are just one of the nights when I get a lil melancholic..

backlog of posts..

2009-01-08T01:18:00.001+08:00

Restructuring has finally been announced. It is literally taking a load off my burdens.

I'm excited to see how God is going to take the whole unit to embark on a whole new journey towards greater heights, march towards new breakthroughs and creating new milestones.

And like what I said during unit meeting, anything that does not change will become stagnant in due time.

Changes may be painful at times, most of the times fearful. I'm embracing all these new changes with God, knowing that God always wants the best for us.

JC EAST A, I'm looking forward to embarking on another new journey with you guys! :)

adding on to my reflections on 2008..

2009-01-06T01:40:00.002+08:00

without this wonderful bunch of people around in 2008, the year would never have been so great and exciting.

my fellow co-labourers and comrades, i can never say enough, but still the same old words
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

The Cave People.

2009-01-05T05:30:00.002+08:00

oh goodness, i hardly blog surfed and this really touched me at 530am in the wee hours of the morning.

Long ago, or maybe not so long ago, there was a tribe in a dark, cold cavern. The cave dwellers would huddle together and cry against the chill. Loud and long they wailed. It was all they did. It was all they knew to do. The sounds in the cave were mournful, but the people didn’t know it, for they had never known joy. The spirit in the cave was death, but the people didn’t know it, for they had never known life.

But then, one day, they heard a different voice. “I have heard your cries,” it announced. “I have felt your chill and seen your darkness. I have come to help.”

The cave people grew quiet. They had never heard this voice. hope sounded strange to their ears. “How can we know you have come to help?”

“Trust me,” he answered. “I have what you need.”

The cave people peered through the darkness at the figure of the stranger. He was stacking something, then stooping and stacking more.

“What are you doing?” one cried, nervous.

The stranger didn’t answer.

“What are you making?” one shouted even louder.

Still no response.

“Tell us!” demanded a third.

The visitor stood and spoke in the direction of the voices. “I have what you need.” With that he turned to the pile at his feet and lit it. Wood ignited, flames erupted, and light filled the cavern.

The cave people turned away in fear. “Put it out!” they cried. “It hurts to see it.”

“Light always hurts before it helps,” he answered. “Step closer. The pain will soon pass.”

“Not I,” declared a voice.

“Nor I,” agreed a second.

“Only a fool would risk exposing his eyes to such light.”

The stranger stood next to the fire. “Would you prefer the darkness? Would you prefer the cold? Don’t consult your fears. Take a step of faith”

For a long time no one spoke. The people hovered in groups covering their eyes. The fire builder stood next to the fire. “It’s warm here,” he invited.

“He’s right,” one from behind him announced. “It’s warmer.” The stranger turned a saw a figure slowly stepping toward the fire. “I can open my eyes now,” she proclaimed. “I can see.”

“Come closer,” invited the fire builder.

She did. She stepped into the ring of light.

“It’s so warm!” she extended her hands and sighed as her chill began to pass.

“Come, everyone! Feel the warmth,” she invited.

“Silence, woman!” cried one of the cave dwellers. “Dare you lead us into your folly? Leave us. Leave us and take your light with you.”

She turned to the stranger. “Why won’t they come?”

“They choose the chill, for though it’s cold, it’s what they know. They’d rather be cold than change.”

“And live in the dark?”

“And live in the dark.”

The now-warm woman stood silent. Looking first at the dark, then at the man.

“Will you leave the fire?” he asked.

She paused, then answered, “I cannot. I cannot bear the cold.” Then she spoke again. “But nor can I bear the thought of my people in darkness.”

“You don’t have to,” he responded, reaching into the fire and removing a stick. “Carry this to your people. Tell them the light is here, and the light is warm. Tell them the light is for all who desire it.”

And so she took the small flame and stepped into the shadows.

Taken from Max Lucado’s
The Woodcutter’s Wisdom and Other Favorite Stories

what a beautiful story really.

credits to zixin's post. =)

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2009!

2009-01-04T03:01:00.005+08:00

I sure hope i am not one of the last few people posting up new year resolutions. In any case, here are my resolutions for the year 2009:

1) I want to be a better salt and light at home.
And that would encompass doing household chores that are absolutely abhorred by me, such as washing the dishes more regularly. I want to make it a point to spend more time with my family as well, deliberate planning needed.

2) I want to bring my friends one step closer to God.

3) I want to gain a deeper understanding of the Word and walk even more closely with God daily.

4) I want to overcome a particular struggle that I was grappling with in 2008!
Say goodbye!!

And yeahs, there you go. I ain't ambitious. I know resolutions like "I want to lose weight" will probably drop out of my new year resolutions list sooner or later due to my weak resolve in this area of my life!

Or maybe, I should change it to, "I want to be more determined to lose weight". I probably will grow in my determination to want to lose weight for sure. Only when determination increases, will there be perspiration.

On second thoughts, let's just stick with 4 resolutions for now!

hahahahaha.

Summing up 2008
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Words to describe how the year has been:
crazy, unbelievable, painful (some parts of it), adventurous, exciting, mind-blowing, overwhelming (very), simply amazing!

Words to describe my feelings for the year 2008:
Thankful, Amazed and Overwhelmed.

I'm so boring and lazy. I simply can't be bothered come up with better words or a better way to describe year 2008.

All in all, I'm really looking forward to a great and faith-filled 2009! :)

Shepherd of my soul.

2009-01-03T03:21:00.000+08:00

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will follow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep,
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

memorable last day of 2008 :D

2009-01-01T02:27:00.005+08:00

for me, the last day of any other year wouldn't be any more memorable than the last day of 2008. i had such an interesting and hilarious time with nicole last night. it will probably stay with me till the last day of my life, would never ever forget this! thanks gal for making the last day of 2008 so memorable! i really had a great time with you, from complaining together, to traveling together (which took us forever), to dinner at waraku, to our final bus trip back home. haha, you've seen the ugly and vulnerable side of me today, with my weaknesses so exposed disgustingly, so thank you so much for bearing with me and accepting me for who i am. it would not be possible to mark this day 31/12/08 as memorable without you! i look forward to serving even more with you in 2009! am so excited! what an adventure to end 2008 to start an even greater and exciting adventure in 2009! hahahaha. :)

so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

2009-01-01T01:46:00.002+08:00

i just suddenly found this photo of my brother, it was taken last year and i just think that he is like so cute!!!!

omg omg. my brother's growing up now!
he's going to grow up to be a fine young man. amen. :D
our cute little boy is so going to grow a beard and a moustache, have leg and armpit hair and if he is really hairy, have chest hair as well. his voice has already broken, his muscles are starting to develop as he takes in incredulously enormous portions of food each meal, he's really growing up now! it's just so amazing. hahahha.

LOL!

2008-12-31T02:17:00.004+08:00

this is really hilarious!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

thai police wearing smiley masks.
it's so cute!

you can read here for the full report and for a better laugh!

on a side note, i really want to travel out of singaporeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here's a real honest post.

2008-12-27T03:16:00.005+08:00

Dear God,

so fast, 2008 is coming to an end. 2009 is coming, and many exciting things are going to happen and change in jc east a and in my life as well. i do think that 2009 will be a year that will really really change many things in my life.

we're so going to start the year with a bang. we're going to really rob the gates of hades in the month of feb with our mad project at getting j1s. i really have faith that the harvest WILL pour in, i have FAITH. we really need to not just work our asses off this time round but more importantly, to believe in you with FAITH! in may, i will be officially bidding farewell to nus and shall enter into a different life station - working!

many changes are going to take place. new shepherds and new leaders are going to rise up to take up the challenge. i will officially have to shed off all my kiddish clothes in exchange for the mature working women clothes. will probably have to spend a bomb on working clothes too cos i don't even have a single set of them in my closet at all!

even though i am very hopeful about 2009, i am still very uncertain about the looming future. will i get a job? what kind of job will i get? where do you want me to go? what do you want me to do for you? all these are just a glimpse of the questions that are constantly lurking in my puny mind.

i'm really looking forward to how you are going to grow me, stretch me and prune me. however at the same time fearful of the emotional roller coasters and the new changes.

one thing is for sure though, that God, you are a never-changing God. you are always and will always be faithful to me. in 2009, i need to really hold onto the fact that, "You are more than enough for me". nothing else matters.

am still fearful, but i shall press on with your leading, dear God. you will not lead me to a place where your grace cannot reach me.

i've ended 2008, knowing that i've really grown and been tested by you in many areas of my life. so hello 2009, i'm so going to conquer you and make sure that you will be even better than 2008.

holding on,
your child.

Amazed.

2008-12-25T22:19:00.005+08:00

It's the time of the year again, when all the christmas shopping lists are been thrown into the trash bags and the christmas lights are slowly been removed from the streets. In a flash of an eye, 2008 is coming to a closure again. Today has been a good day of rest (most of the time spent with my beloved bed) more for my physical body. I have yet to really have a real good rest since my exams ended in early December. And now that December and the year is coming to an end, I kinda wished that December could stretch a little longer.

I haven't written in my personal journal for some time now, with the exceptions of a few random scribbles. I miss the long entries when I would literally take hours just journalling to God (under a coconut tree).

I briefly poured through my journal entries in the year 2008. Simply put, 2008's been just MAD and AMAZING.

I looked at all the gifts that God has given me this year, and I can't help but have the reaction of this little girl.

I looked down at the gifts that God has given me in my life, and then I can't help but look up to heaven, looking simply awed and amazed.

Thank you Lord, thank you, thank you so so much.

2008's been such a ride with you. I wanna continue to ride on with you in 2009. :)

2008-12-24T02:58:00.002+08:00

words and actions can intentionally or unintentionally hurt us.
a love unreturned probably might hurt a little more.

but nothing hurts more to see someone dying right in front of you, and you can't do anything about it at all.

2008-12-23T02:12:00.003+08:00

DEAR FRIENDS OF JASMINE LOH HUEY VOON,

JASMINE LOH IS HEREBY DECLARING TO YOU GUYS THAT SHE IS MISSING ALL HER FRIENDS AND THAT SHE IS DYING TO WANT TO CATCH UP WITH YOU ALL. SHE'LL PLUCK OUT TIME TO MEET YOU GUYS AFTER CHRISTMAS!

LOVE,
JASMINE'S FRIEND.

2008-12-20T02:12:00.003+08:00

see how lame james is

JAMES. said:
hello jloh how your tummy
the secret is to rub your tummy 1 round clockwise, 2 rounds anticlockwise with your bible and say "in jesus' name"

totally hilarious.

however i must say that behind all those rubbish that he utters here and there, there is a real big big heart that he possess for God. james, you are really spiritual! (except when you try too hard to act spiritual) hahahahaha.

2008-12-17T17:08:00.000+08:00

heroes camp was just superbly great, period.

can't think of any other way to describe it. i'm still having a hangover due to the sleepless nights in camp. somehow, my back can't seem to stop aching.

will blog more about it soon.

random

2008-12-04T01:10:00.003+08:00

i first fell in love with delta goodrem's voice when i first heard her collaboration with westlife to sing "all out of love".

her voice was almost perfect for the song.

now, this is even better! you so got to listen to this!

her voice is so so so good! don't you agree with me!

i'm just so excited for the unit outing later! really thank God for the cls and their respective teams for being so ready to serve and lead because we had actually decided having a unit cg last sat! thank you cls especially for giving your time.

unit outing's going to be a blast! nobody's going to see this before the outing, but i'm really really excited for it! :)

i hope to come back with many many photos!

2008-12-03T02:44:00.004+08:00

had a good time with the loh family and the soon-to-be-mrs-gwenie-loh at bedok 85 after my exams! love spending time with the loh family, seeing my parents squabble over almost nothing is totally amusing, my younger brother making irrelevant comments, me laughing my sister for being one of the blurrest sotong on the face of this earth, and listening to my mummy say really weird and funny time is a really therapeutic way to end the horrid exams.

here's another way to end your exams therapeutically. revisit your childhood! i just finished watching beauty and the beast the cartoon. i can't remember exactly how many times i've watched this show my entire life. i remember that i used to own the tape version of that cartoon and me and my sister would retrieve it from the old dusty cupboard below the television to watch it whenever we are bored. and being kids, it ain't hard to get bored. so i guess i must have watched it for at least more than ten times in my entire life.

but i must say that beauty and the beast is still one of my favourite disney classics even after watching it for more than ten times.

in case you are interested.

mans, i can't wait for the beauty and the beast the musical to come to singapore! oh please come sooon!!

and just to end off:

there is nothing like the local church when the local church is working right.

this is exactly what has been on my mind ever since last sun's ulm. we got to do church right!

2008-12-01T23:39:00.003+08:00

i can smell it. i can feel it. i am very close to it.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow 2 dec, 1500hrs when my teacher is going to say, "time's up, pens down please".

hang in there jasmine.
tomorrow you shall kiss the statue of liberty.

liberation tmr!
the wait has been far too long and torturous.

after my exams, i shall attempt to make my blog entries less trashy.
it's so uninteresting, monotonous, un-entertaining and uninspiring.
time to put my writing skills to test. (it really sucks)

hot catch in town!

2008-11-28T12:13:00.004+08:00

to guys out there, let me introduce to you a very very hot catch!

her name is LIM WAN QI.
in case you don't know who she is, her's a picture of her beautiful face.

please do not attempt to have any funny ideas on the person on the right. she's my future sister-in-law. that means she's taken. haha. unless you want my brother to come after your life. bleahx.

whatever rubbish am i talking about, i am just attempting to make my blog post a little more humourous and enjoyable.

here's something you really need to know about this sweet girl here.

she plays drums for the tertiary service! don't play play, cos she's one of the only few female drummers around in church!

she gives really wise advice and she never hesitates to scold me, stop me, rebuke me and correct me whenever she finds out that i am going on the wrong path or when i really deserve that scolding. (though i secretly suspects that she enjoys it sometimes. hahaha)

here's the new add-on to the list,
she's willing to wake up at 6am to wake me up so that i can go for my exam on time! and she didn't even complain when i asked this favour from her. by the way, she had already finished her exams when i asked her for help.

where can you find such a friend!

thank you my dear friend! :)
you are very much appreciated!!

****************************

PS to CINDY YONG TAU FOO: thank you for ya jiayou message! :)
you're a hot catch too, but too bad, you're taken. otherwise i'll make you into a teddy bear and promote you to others. and put one at home too so that i won't miss you so much. you're so missed!

exams laments.

2008-11-26T23:50:00.005+08:00

there is this problem that i encountered as i was studying for my changing landscapes of singapore module. esp the chapter on foreign talent in singapore, they are always throwing the term PR around.

i took ten minutes to try and figure out why are they talking about Public Relations in a singapore studies module. and i simply couldn't figure out the use of public relations in that particular sentence.

but now, after ten minutes of reading the entire paragraph again, i suddenly realised that PR actually stood for Permanent Residency.

argh. all these studying is making me DUMB.

ah crap, after reading through the past year exam papers of changing landscapes of singapore. i come to realised how ignorant i am of the current affairs in singapore. this is a serious disadvantage. how am i going to crap my examples out tmr! hahaha. i must have spent too much time keeping myself updated on american politics and international affairs and neglected my hometown news. crap.

i'm always losing my pens. and the horrors of losing pen culminated when i just realised (only just) that i lost my favourite pen and tommorrow happens to be a essay-centric exams. and guess what, the exam is at 9am later. tell me which stationary shop will open at 8am. hahahaha.

tres bien.

life is so exciting. i had better stock up my pens. or lookout for a man who happens to be the son of someone who owns popular, big bookshop, nus co-op or any stationary shop.

i need a lifetime supply of pens.

merci beaucoup.
i'm trying to practice my french. HAHAHA.